Big Confusing Feelings
Any of us can feel overwhelmed at times by waves of strong feelings. At those times, we may not be able to think clearly (it is a scientific fact) and can only respond in a flight or fight mode until we are able to calm down and breathe. Then the more logical part of our brain can reflect on our feelings—take a step back and evaluate if our feelings in the moment and any intense reactions on our part may have been unfair, overly harsh or critical or attacking of those around us. We may then get flooded with feelings of shame and embarrassment and become devaluing of ourselves. It can become a vicious and unproductive cycle. We can also become overwhelmed by big feelings while we are alone, plagued by negative thoughts about ourselves and our life—in a sense we are usually beating ourselves up in those moments and have a very distorted view of ourselves. Often these negative messages have been around for a long time and usually arise from dynamics in our families as we grew